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SpeedRacer2 Moderator Group
Joined: August-14-2003 Location: United States Posts: 12525
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Posted: October-27-2005 at 12:50pm | IP Logged
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"Oh God, thy sea is so great, and my boat is so small."
(from a plaque which sat on the desk of President John F. Kennedy)
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SpeedRacer2 Moderator Group
Joined: August-14-2003 Location: United States Posts: 12525
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Posted: October-27-2005 at 3:48pm | IP Logged
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Received this one in an e-mail from WOOWOO this afternoon...........
This is a GOOD one!
"Good friends are like stars... You don't always see them, but you know they are always there."
How true!
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James K Track Owner
Joined: August-13-2003 Location: United States Posts: 1630
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Posted: October-27-2005 at 7:42pm | IP Logged
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IF a man says something in the woods and there is no women around to hear him is he still WRONG!!!!!!!
__________________ A government big enough to give you everything you want,
is strong enough to take everything you have.
-Thomas Jefferson
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SpeedRacer2 Moderator Group
Joined: August-14-2003 Location: United States Posts: 12525
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Posted: October-27-2005 at 8:23pm | IP Logged
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Hey JK........... Most likely.
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WOOWOO Track Owner
One Sweet Lady
Joined: August-13-2003 Location: United States Posts: 2017
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Posted: October-27-2005 at 9:45pm | IP Logged
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Alright you two!!
__________________ Thats LIFE!!! Get over it and get on with it!!!
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SpeedRacer2 Moderator Group
Joined: August-14-2003 Location: United States Posts: 12525
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Posted: October-28-2005 at 10:08pm | IP Logged
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There are two theories on arguing with women. Neither one works.
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SpeedRacer2 Moderator Group
Joined: August-14-2003 Location: United States Posts: 12525
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Posted: October-29-2005 at 12:28am | IP Logged
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Some days you are the windshield.....
Some days you are the bug.
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RW Retired Champ
Joined: August-30-2003 Location: United States Posts: 5661
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Posted: October-29-2005 at 8:25am | IP Logged
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That's funny "James K." Just yesterday afternoon someone I was with, she and I were discussing (arguing) something.
I said, "Oh, excuse me for being wrong. Are you always right Ms Know-It-All?" And her reply was, "Pretty much so, but I'm sure you already knew that."
I can't type what I said to her. LOL LOL LOL
Anyway.....................
"What disease did cured ham actually have?"
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SpeedRacer2 Moderator Group
Joined: August-14-2003 Location: United States Posts: 12525
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Posted: October-30-2005 at 7:52am | IP Logged
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There are no new sins.
The old ones just get more publicity..........
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James K Track Owner
Joined: August-13-2003 Location: United States Posts: 1630
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Posted: October-30-2005 at 5:41pm | IP Logged
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Another one of my favorites with dealing with women.
There are only two rules a man needs to know when dealing with women.
Rule #1. A women is always right.
Rule #2. When in doubt refer to rule #1!!!!!!!
__________________ A government big enough to give you everything you want,
is strong enough to take everything you have.
-Thomas Jefferson
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LPR_Racer_P4_69 Track Champion
Joined: September-05-2005 Location: United States Posts: 478
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Posted: October-30-2005 at 9:40pm | IP Logged
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Friends Are Like Holidays, You Can Never Have Enough.
Josh Estep #69
__________________ "If Everything Seems Under Control, You're Just Not Going Fast Enough."
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James K Track Owner
Joined: August-13-2003 Location: United States Posts: 1630
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Posted: October-31-2005 at 11:44am | IP Logged
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IF you park on driveway and drive on a parkway what are you suppose to do in a doorway????????
__________________ A government big enough to give you everything you want,
is strong enough to take everything you have.
-Thomas Jefferson
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SpeedRacer2 Moderator Group
Joined: August-14-2003 Location: United States Posts: 12525
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Posted: November-02-2005 at 7:50am | IP Logged
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Borborygmus ============
You know what it is.
Most likely you've experienced it within the last few days.
It's one of those things that you know, but you don't know the technical name for it.
It's called borborygmus.
That's pronounced bor-bo-rig-mus.
So what exactly is borborygmus?
It's a condition of the stomach and intestines. It's not serious enough to keep you from work; but if you do happen to miss work for some other reason, you can truthfully say that you've had a bad case of borborygmus lately.
People won't know what it is and will most likely be too embarassed to ask. They might also move back slightly.
This isn't super inspirational. Actually it's not inspirational at all, but you will get the smug feeling that you know something that 99% of the population doesn't.
The next time you see some smart aleck rattling on about something they are an expert in, ask them have they had an attack of borborygmus lately. That'll shut them up.
So what exactly is borborygmus?
It's stomach rumble or commonly called stomach growling when you are hungry.
Technically it's the rumbling sounds made by the movement of gases in the stomach and intestine.
Knowledge is power.
Use it wisely.
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RW Retired Champ
Joined: August-30-2003 Location: United States Posts: 5661
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Posted: November-03-2005 at 4:06am | IP Logged
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Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
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WOOWOO Track Owner
One Sweet Lady
Joined: August-13-2003 Location: United States Posts: 2017
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Posted: November-03-2005 at 6:19am | IP Logged
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Even a blind squirrel finds a nut every once in a while.
__________________ Thats LIFE!!! Get over it and get on with it!!!
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SpeedRacer2 Moderator Group
Joined: August-14-2003 Location: United States Posts: 12525
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Posted: November-03-2005 at 9:27am | IP Logged
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Sooner or later, you are going to learn, just as I did, that there is a difference between KNOWING the path and WALKING the path.
~Morpheus, from The Matrix~
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WOOWOO Track Owner
One Sweet Lady
Joined: August-13-2003 Location: United States Posts: 2017
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Posted: November-03-2005 at 1:43pm | IP Logged
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Sometimes in life you have to be like a turtle and stick your neck out to get ahead.
__________________ Thats LIFE!!! Get over it and get on with it!!!
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RW Retired Champ
Joined: August-30-2003 Location: United States Posts: 5661
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Posted: November-04-2005 at 4:39am | IP Logged
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If the professor on Gilligan's island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
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SpeedRacer2 Moderator Group
Joined: August-14-2003 Location: United States Posts: 12525
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Posted: November-05-2005 at 6:50am | IP Logged
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The difference between a smart person and a wise person is that a smart person knows what to say and a wise person knows whether or not to say it.
(I thought this one appropriate after reading another post elsewhere...)
Edited by SpeedRacer2 on November-05-2005 at 1:05pm
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SpeedRacer2 Moderator Group
Joined: August-14-2003 Location: United States Posts: 12525
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Posted: November-05-2005 at 9:53pm | IP Logged
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Success is getting what you want.
Happiness is wanting what you get.
~ Dave Gardner ~
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SpeedRacer2 Moderator Group
Joined: August-14-2003 Location: United States Posts: 12525
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Posted: November-06-2005 at 10:25am | IP Logged
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"If you’re looking for friends when you need them…it’s too late."
-- Mark Twain --
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SpeedRacer2 Moderator Group
Joined: August-14-2003 Location: United States Posts: 12525
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Posted: November-06-2005 at 8:07pm | IP Logged
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"Let us so live life that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry."
~ Mark Twain ~
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SpeedRacer2 Moderator Group
Joined: August-14-2003 Location: United States Posts: 12525
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Posted: November-07-2005 at 10:31pm | IP Logged
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The reason why the Ten Commandments are short and clear is that they were handed down direct, not through several committees.
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RW Retired Champ
Joined: August-30-2003 Location: United States Posts: 5661
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Posted: November-08-2005 at 12:39am | IP Logged
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Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people. (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
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SpeedRacer2 Moderator Group
Joined: August-14-2003 Location: United States Posts: 12525
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Posted: November-08-2005 at 12:54pm | IP Logged
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Best racing quote I've seen in a while.............
Carl Edwards, on his new celebrity status: "When I have friends come to the track with me, they see me being interviewed or signing autographs, and they just have to laugh. They know where I come from and who I still am." (www.valvoline.com)
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SpeedRacer2 Moderator Group
Joined: August-14-2003 Location: United States Posts: 12525
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Posted: November-08-2005 at 5:01pm | IP Logged
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"The cynic is his own worst enemy. It requires far less skill to run a wrecking company than it does to be an architect."
~U.S. Andersen~
Edited by SpeedRacer2 on November-08-2005 at 5:03pm
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WOOWOO Track Owner
One Sweet Lady
Joined: August-13-2003 Location: United States Posts: 2017
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Posted: November-08-2005 at 5:48pm | IP Logged
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Never burn all your bridges behind you especially the one that can lead you back home.
__________________ Thats LIFE!!! Get over it and get on with it!!!
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SpeedRacer2 Moderator Group
Joined: August-14-2003 Location: United States Posts: 12525
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Posted: November-08-2005 at 11:29pm | IP Logged
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"If you aren't living on the edge, then you are taking up too much space."
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RW Retired Champ
Joined: August-30-2003 Location: United States Posts: 5661
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Posted: November-09-2005 at 4:23am | IP Logged
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How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
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SpeedRacer2 Moderator Group
Joined: August-14-2003 Location: United States Posts: 12525
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Posted: November-10-2005 at 12:40am | IP Logged
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In seventeen of His thirty-seven parables, Jesus dealt with property and man's responsibility for using it wisely.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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RW Retired Champ
Joined: August-30-2003 Location: United States Posts: 5661
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Posted: November-10-2005 at 1:05am | IP Logged
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When we were young we used to go "skinny dipping," now in our old age we just "chunky dunk."
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SpeedRacer2 Moderator Group
Joined: August-14-2003 Location: United States Posts: 12525
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Posted: November-10-2005 at 8:05am | IP Logged
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Vegetarian is an old Indian word meaning "bad hunter." -- Anonymous
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SpeedRacer2 Moderator Group
Joined: August-14-2003 Location: United States Posts: 12525
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Posted: November-10-2005 at 3:34pm | IP Logged
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"Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants."
~ Epicurus, ancient Greek philosopher ~
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SpeedRacer2 Moderator Group
Joined: August-14-2003 Location: United States Posts: 12525
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Posted: November-10-2005 at 10:21pm | IP Logged
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"Life is an onion. You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep."
-- Carl Sandburg --
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SpeedRacer2 Moderator Group
Joined: August-14-2003 Location: United States Posts: 12525
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Posted: November-11-2005 at 10:08am | IP Logged
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The man on top of the mountain didn't fall there. --Vince Lombardi
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SpeedRacer2 Moderator Group
Joined: August-14-2003 Location: United States Posts: 12525
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Posted: November-11-2005 at 7:24pm | IP Logged
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James Madison, the fourth president, known as "The Father of Our Constitution" made the following statement:
"We have staked the whole of all our political institutions upon the capacity of mankind for self-government, upon the capacity of each and all of us to govern ourselves, to control ourselves, to sustain ourselves according to the Ten Commandments of God."
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SpeedRacer2 Moderator Group
Joined: August-14-2003 Location: United States Posts: 12525
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Posted: November-11-2005 at 10:49pm | IP Logged
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Patrick Henry, that patriot and Founding Father of our country said:
"It cannot be emphasized too strongly or too often that this great nation was founded not by religionists but by Christians, not on religions but on the Gospel of Jesus Christ".
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RW Retired Champ
Joined: August-30-2003 Location: United States Posts: 5661
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Posted: November-12-2005 at 3:12am | IP Logged
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TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
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SpeedRacer2 Moderator Group
Joined: August-14-2003 Location: United States Posts: 12525
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Posted: November-12-2005 at 8:54am | IP Logged
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I have friends in overalls whose friendship I would not swap for the favor of the kings of the world.
~Thomas Edison~
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SpeedRacer2 Moderator Group
Joined: August-14-2003 Location: United States Posts: 12525
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Posted: November-12-2005 at 7:38pm | IP Logged
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Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should get used to the idea.
~Received this one tonight from a friend in Pennsylvania~
Edited by SpeedRacer2 on November-12-2005 at 7:43pm
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SpeedRacer2 Moderator Group
Joined: August-14-2003 Location: United States Posts: 12525
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Posted: November-13-2005 at 9:04am | IP Logged
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"Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people."
-- W.C. Fields --
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SpeedRacer2 Moderator Group
Joined: August-14-2003 Location: United States Posts: 12525
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Posted: November-13-2005 at 9:22pm | IP Logged
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"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." -- Al Gore, Vice President
.........and, just to be fair............
"I love California! I practically grew up in Phoenix."
--Dan Quayle, Vice President
Edited by SpeedRacer2 on November-13-2005 at 9:27pm
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SpeedRacer2 Moderator Group
Joined: August-14-2003 Location: United States Posts: 12525
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Posted: November-13-2005 at 10:31pm | IP Logged
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"Everyone is ignorant, only on different subjects" --Will Rogers
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RW Retired Champ
Joined: August-30-2003 Location: United States Posts: 5661
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Posted: November-14-2005 at 9:30am | IP Logged
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Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
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SpeedRacer2 Moderator Group
Joined: August-14-2003 Location: United States Posts: 12525
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Posted: November-15-2005 at 11:31pm | IP Logged
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What would you attempt to do if you knew you would not fail?
~ Dr. Robert Schuller ~
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RW Retired Champ
Joined: August-30-2003 Location: United States Posts: 5661
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Posted: November-16-2005 at 2:01am | IP Logged
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If you are an average American, in your whole life, you will spend an average of six months waiting at red lights.
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SpeedRacer2 Moderator Group
Joined: August-14-2003 Location: United States Posts: 12525
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Posted: November-16-2005 at 3:46pm | IP Logged
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"Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest." -- Mark Twain
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SpeedRacer2 Moderator Group
Joined: August-14-2003 Location: United States Posts: 12525
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Posted: November-16-2005 at 11:43pm | IP Logged
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"I am not young enough to know everything."
--Oscar Wilde--
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WOOWOO Track Owner
One Sweet Lady
Joined: August-13-2003 Location: United States Posts: 2017
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Posted: November-17-2005 at 6:46am | IP Logged
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"If you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble."
~Bob Hope~
__________________ Thats LIFE!!! Get over it and get on with it!!!
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BugMan Moderator Group
Joined: February-07-2005 Location: United States Posts: 3175
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Posted: November-17-2005 at 7:52am | IP Logged
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Regarding greed.
"Pigs get fat...
...Hogs get butchered"
unknown
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