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Woody
Track Champion
Joined: June-08-2007
Location: United States
Posts: 421
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| Posted: October-22-2009 at 5:25pm | IP Logged
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How the fight started - I was sitting in my chair with the remote flipping through all the channels when she walked by and said whats on TV. I look at her and said "Dust".
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SpeedRacer2
Moderator Group
Joined: August-14-2003
Location: United States
Posts: 12525
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| Posted: October-22-2009 at 5:37pm | IP Logged
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If you can lay down at night knowing that you had made someone's life just a little bit better, then you know that you had a good day.
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Van_84
Moderator Group
Joined: December-24-2006
Location: United States
Posts: 3500
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| Posted: October-22-2009 at 6:43pm | IP Logged
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I think that Woody might be calling for a new on-going thread...haha!
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SpeedRacer2
Moderator Group
Joined: August-14-2003
Location: United States
Posts: 12525
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| Posted: October-22-2009 at 7:31pm | IP Logged
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Yep.... I can see this one developing into a very interesting series of "How the fight started" posts.....
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SpeedRacer2
Moderator Group
Joined: August-14-2003
Location: United States
Posts: 12525
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| Posted: October-22-2009 at 7:36pm | IP Logged
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OK... I'll add one....
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,
‘I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me
a compliment.’
The husband replies, ‘Well, your eyesight’s darned near perfect.’
And that’s how the fight started…..
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If you can lay down at night knowing that you had made someone's life just a little bit better, then you know that you had a good day.
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Woody
Track Champion
Joined: June-08-2007
Location: United States
Posts: 421
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| Posted: October-22-2009 at 8:40pm | IP Logged
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Been There!!!!!! 
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Woody
Track Champion
Joined: June-08-2007
Location: United States
Posts: 421
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| Posted: October-22-2009 at 8:41pm | IP Logged
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After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too'
And then the fight started.....
Edited by Woody on October-22-2009 at 8:42pm
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Woody
Track Champion
Joined: June-08-2007
Location: United States
Posts: 421
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| Posted: October-23-2009 at 7:46pm | IP Logged
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A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.
Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.
The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man 'Holy crap. That must be my husband!'
So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go.
A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and
screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!'
The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'
And then the fight started.....
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Van_84
Moderator Group
Joined: December-24-2006
Location: United States
Posts: 3500
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| Posted: October-23-2009 at 8:08pm | IP Logged
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WOW! Now that's a good one...HAHA!
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BugMan
Moderator Group
Joined: February-07-2005
Location: United States
Posts: 3175
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| Posted: October-24-2009 at 6:02am | IP Logged
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A few weeks ago, my wife started in on me, stating that we didn't do anything anymore and that she was unhappy.
I asked, "So what can I do to make you happy again"?
She said "I want you to take me somewhere I've never been before"...
...I took her to the kitchen...
...and that's when the fight started!
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Woody
Track Champion
Joined: June-08-2007
Location: United States
Posts: 421
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| Posted: October-24-2009 at 11:03pm | IP Logged
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Woody
Track Champion
Joined: June-08-2007
Location: United States
Posts: 421
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| Posted: October-29-2009 at 6:51pm | IP Logged
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I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason,
took my order first. 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare,
please.'
He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'
'Nah, she can order for herself.'
And that's when the fight started.....
Edited by Woody on October-29-2009 at 6:52pm
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Van_84
Moderator Group
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Location: United States
Posts: 3500
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| Posted: October-29-2009 at 7:54pm | IP Logged
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I love a good food joke! And look at that, You didn't even have to mention the kitchen...HAHAHAHA!!!
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RW
Retired Champ
Joined: August-30-2003
Location: United States
Posts: 5661
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| Posted: October-29-2009 at 8:30pm | IP Logged
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Friendship among Women:
A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best
friends. None of them knew anything about it.
Friendship among Men:
A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends.
Eight confirmed that he had slept over. Two said he was still there.
And people, that's just proof that men have better friends than women!!! HA HA HA
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Van_84
Moderator Group
Joined: December-24-2006
Location: United States
Posts: 3500
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| Posted: October-29-2009 at 8:37pm | IP Logged
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HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! For the most part, that is SOOOO true!
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WOOWOO
Track Owner
One Sweet Lady
Joined: August-13-2003
Location: United States
Posts: 2017
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| Posted: October-30-2009 at 3:16am | IP Logged
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A husband and wife was sitting on the patio when she decided to work in her flower beds. She was bent over busy working when he looked up and told he that her butt was as wide as his big new shiny grill!
Then a fight started......
Came bedtime.....
Husband rolls over toward his wife, feeling and little frisky....
She told him that she wasn't cranking up her big old grill for one little hot dog.....
then another fight started!!!!
Edited by WOOWOO on October-30-2009 at 3:20am
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Thats LIFE!!! Get over it and get on with it!!!
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BugMan
Moderator Group
Joined: February-07-2005
Location: United States
Posts: 3175
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| Posted: October-30-2009 at 6:04am | IP Logged
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A man returned home from work to find his wife loading her suitcase.
"Where are you going"? he asked.
"I'm leaving you and going to Las Vegas Nevada", she replied.
Surprised, he asked "Why"?
She said "It's my understanding that I can get $1000 dollars a shot for what I've been giving you for free"!!
The man began to pack his own suitcase...
...the wife asked "Where are you going"?
He said "Vegas"
She asked "WHY"?
He said "COS I WANNA SEE YOU LIVE ON $1000.00 A YEAR!"
...and that's when a big ole fight started!
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Speedyb9
Heat Winner
Joined: January-22-2009
Location: United States
Posts: 78
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| Posted: October-30-2009 at 5:43pm | IP Logged
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I got one........
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend.. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' said my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?' And that's when the fight started....
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Van_84
Moderator Group
Joined: December-24-2006
Location: United States
Posts: 3500
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| Posted: October-30-2009 at 6:13pm | IP Logged
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My old girlfriend was a blonde.
We were watching the Olympics and then THIS happened...
I agreed...AND THAT'S WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED!
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Woody
Track Champion
Joined: June-08-2007
Location: United States
Posts: 421
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| Posted: October-30-2009 at 7:52pm | IP Logged
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Wait a min........I'm a blonde?
Now the fight has started....
Edited by Woody on October-30-2009 at 7:55pm
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Woody
Track Champion
Joined: June-08-2007
Location: United States
Posts: 421
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| Posted: November-18-2009 at 3:17am | IP Logged
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My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you
want to have sex?'
'No,' she answered.
I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'
So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'
And that's when the fight started....
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BugMan
Moderator Group
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Location: United States
Posts: 3175
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| Posted: November-19-2009 at 8:00am | IP Logged
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A woman was watching her naked husband pose in front of the mirror after getting out of the shower. He looked at her and exclaimed, "LOOKIE HERE HONEY! STILL 200 POUNDS OF NOTHING BUT DYNAMITE!!!"
The wife said "Not possible. Dynamite typically has a much longer fuse"...
...and that's when the fight started.
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dirttracker63
Track Champion
Joined: January-05-2006
Location: United States
Posts: 625
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| Posted: November-19-2009 at 8:12am | IP Logged
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Woody wrote:
My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you
want to have sex?'
'No,' she answered.
I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'
So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'
And that's when the fight started.... |
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LOL!!! That is great!!!!
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SpeedRacer2
Moderator Group
Joined: August-14-2003
Location: United States
Posts: 12525
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| Posted: November-25-2009 at 8:47pm | IP Logged
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Having grown up just outside New York City, he barely knew a
cow from an ear of corn. Until, that is, he married a small
town Ohio girl. While he was in seminary school, he had a
temporary assignment at a church in a rural community. The
day of his first sermon, he tried very hard to fit in.... maybe
too hard.
With his wife sitting in the first pew, he began his discourse:
"I never saw a cow until I met my wife."
And, that's when the fight started...
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Race Fool
Rookie
Joined: February-11-2004
Location: United States
Posts: 21
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| Posted: November-26-2009 at 6:40pm | IP Logged
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Wife to Husband as she was trying on new slacks:Do these slacks make me look fat?
Husband,no your fat makes you look fat......THE FIGHT WAS ON
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James K
Track Owner
Joined: August-13-2003
Location: United States
Posts: 1630
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| Posted: November-26-2009 at 7:20pm | IP Logged
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A old man and his wife were in the electronic dept at Wal-Mart. The salesman was explaining all the new features and the remote. The old man said when I get to lazy to tell the old women to get up and change the channel I will quit watching TV. And That's when the fight started!!!!
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is strong enough to take everything you have.
-Thomas Jefferson
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Topic: How the fight started
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